

I do not spew profanities. I enunciate them clearly, like a fucking lady.
(Source: perfectioninimperfection, via closer-than-thiss)
im going to die a VIRGIN.
we were in the car and my dad was all like “if all the other kids jumped off a bridge would you” and I was like “yeah cause there’d be a huge pile of bodies to land on” and he starting choking and almost swerved off the road
(Source: caslovesdeanandbees, via fuckyourprejudice)
i love being american because we get two days off of school to eat and shop
I love being canadian because we have health care, gay rights, cultural acceptance, beniefts to our education system, the Good Samaritan law, and oh yeah, romney didn’t almost take over our country
i love being american because we get two days off of school to eat and shop
(via smokestep)
no one ever lets me give them a piggyback ride
they’re just like “i might break you”
no you foolish mortal
i have the strength of a thousand horses
please, place yourself upon my back
(Source: believed, via avengemecaptain)
You haven’t experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn’t ticklish.
(Source: kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk, via fuckyourprejudice)